


It's All About How You React

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alcohol, Explicit Language, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-27
Updated: 2009-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Die and Kaoru fall asleep in the same bed and when Die wakes up...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All About How You React

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fonulyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/gifts).



> Comments: for **fonulyn** for her birthday on May 29th.  
>  Beta Readers: Callie, elyachan  
> Song[s]: "A Dead World At Sunrise" by The Human Abstract

The world comes into somewhat hazy view, my eyelids parting ever so slightly. A few languid blinks bring it better into focus for me. It's dark still, sometime in the night, just like it always is when I wake up. I still feel tired, drained... but I've gotten used to the feeling over the years. The only place I sleep right is at home when I'm not alone - my own pillows, the comfort of surroundings I'm used to, where blank white walls don't taunt me with their secrets, when someone's body is pressed against me.

I shift, starting to turn over onto my back and pause right there. There's someone behind me, their warmth now touching me when it wasn't before. I sort through my memories, trying to grasp what happened last, what went on before I fell asleep. I remember coming back to the room, leaving the guys downstairs in the bar getting trashed. For once I made the decision to come up here before I was in an alcohol-induced trance. I know I fell asleep alone and the only person with a key was Kaoru.

Slowly, I turn over, careful to make sure I'm not actually disturbing the warm body next to mine. When I finally face him, I find him in a peaceful-looking sleep, one arm curled under his head, no pillow for him to be using since I have both. His hair is falling over his eyes, making him look even more attractive than usual. I can see his tattoos... all of them. His clothing lays scattered over the floor, t-shirt and khaki pants haphazardly strewn between the two beds.

It leaves me wondering why he's in my bed, why his drunken mind would have led him here rather than to his own bed a few feet away. My body shifts again, a result of my restlessness.

Kaoru moves in his sleep, groaning softly, reaching for me and sliding his arm around my waist. The rest of his body follows, his leg sliding up along mine, knee hooking over my thigh, bringing him so close that my breath hitches in my throat.

Everything I've been suppressing for years comes to the surface, forcing a whimper from me as I let my head fall back on the pillows, closing my eyes, trying to will my heart to calm down. I could just pull away, get out of this bed and move to the other one... the cold, lonely one. The minutes tick by and I remain, my cheek pressed against the fabric of the pillow, rubbing softly as I try to figure out what to do. I don't want to leave Kaoru's embrace, no matter how much he probably doesn't even mean to be doing it. But by the same token, I don't want to create something that I can't fix when he wakes up.

It takes me a good half an hour before I make up my mind to simply try to get back to sleep. Kaoru's warmth is comforting, his weight on me just enough to ease my mind. I'm almost asleep again - a huge feat for me - when he lets out a strangled sound and suddenly presses closer, his leg pulling me flush against him and his arm tightening against my back. Immediately, I feel him; feel his hardness pressed between us. My eyes shoot open and I can't even help the surprised gasp that I emit.

Heat shoots through me, fast and consuming, settling low in my groin. His hips start to gently rock and my cheeks flush pink with arousal. I know I shouldn't be so easy to turn on, so aroused in such a short time span, but I can't prevent it. I know exactly why, too. When you've spent the past thirteen years of your life repressing who you are and what you want, and then suddenly get anything like it, you tend to have a violent reaction towards whatever it is. In my case, I've wanted to be with a man for that long... and with Kaoru specifically for at least the past four years.

My immediate reaction is to push my own hips against his, my groin brushing with his as he moves. Almost inadvertently, I reach for him, my arms winding around his torso, pulling him impossibly closer. Soft gasps and groans of bliss leave my lips, permeating the air around us as my cock starts to harden. Part of my mind screams at me that I should stop this right now, before he wakes up and finds me feeding off of his sleep-bound motions. But the other piece of my twisted brain tells me to let it keep on happening, to let him get me as close as he can like this so I can cherish the memory of it for a long time to come.

I let the devil inside me decide, just clutching onto him, letting him do all the moving. Some part of me knows it'll work out better in my favor if I'm not moving if he wakes up. He keeps it up for almost another five minutes, starting to get more urgent, his breathing growing more and more erratic. I'm getting close, but not nearly close enough. I let out a whimpering moan and it's then that I hear him gasp and then immediately tense. Much to my dismay, it's not the tensing of a man who's about to cum, and I know I'm caught.

My breath gets caught in my throat and I let my eyes close, loosening my hold on him. It takes him all of a minute before he finally talks to me. "You're hard."

My face burns in shame and I start to push him away from me, trying to get away. "You are, too, asshole." The venom that should be in my statement isn't. I just can't muster up the ability to be mad at him for giving me what I'd been secretly wanting for years. "What the fuck are you doing in my bed anyway?" Even with the curse word, it doesn't come out as anything but meek. It falls incredibly flat.

He doesn't say anything, but that almost makes it worse for me. I close my eyes and try to ignore him, try to pretend this isn't happening. At least if he'd woken up after I came, then I'd be sated. Instead, I'm desperately aroused and now upset on top of it. Of their own accord, my hips press upward, rubbing my arousal against the fabric of my boxers. My mouth opens to tell him to get the fuck out of my bed so I can at least finish what he so kindly decided to start, but he beats me to speaking.

"I was cold, so I came over here. Seemed like a good idea when I was trashed. And um... I guess what I was doing seemed like a good idea in my sleep." He's quiet long enough to let me answer, but I don't say a word. After a minute, the bed shifts and I keep my eyes closed, waiting for him to get away from me. What I don't expect is for his weight to settle over me, his arousal pressing hard against mine again.

When I open my eyes, he's hovering over me, arms on either side, his mouth so incredibly close to my own. I'm certain my eyes hold a fear in them that's completely unmasked, spread out for him to see, but he doesn't seem to care. Instead, his lips catch mine, initiating something tentative but needy. At first, I'm frozen in shock, some part of me afraid this is a trap of some kind. But then I relax, the way he's slowly rocking his hips against mine telling me he's not joking with me.

I arch toward him, kissing him back, forcing the kiss into something far deeper, far more desperate. Whimpering sounds come from each of us, fusing to tell the silence of our conjoined need. When his mouth releases mine, my head falls back, tipping slightly in a silent plea to have him use those glorious lips on my neck. I'm hardly aware of what I'm doing anymore, just needing whatever I can get, however he's willing to give it.

A low whimper finally leaves me as I clutch him to my body, my own hips bucking against him. His teeth graze over the tendon in my neck, nipping just before he licks me. I can't think properly. It feels like I'm going to explode if he does anything else.

Almost as if he senses that fact, he pauses to strip us both of our boxers. My breathing becomes shallow... urgent. I'm completely on fire, my entire body burning with a need I'd long forgotten, the need for someone who's so incredibly wanted that it's almost consuming. Emotions flow through me, leaving my body in my actions: hands clasp at his hips, rush over his back and then down to grip his ass, pulling him closer to me. My arousal presses firmly against his, brushing and slipping against equally hardened flesh.

The way he's moving over me is more than enough to push me over the final edge and send me plunging into my release. A cry floats free on the air, twisting between us and around us as a testament to what's happening. My entire body seems to convulse with the spasms deep inside me, smaller sounds leaving me as I spill between us.

His lips crash into mine, pressing roughly against me as he keeps moving, his hips pursuing a desperate, unstable rhythm. He releases a deep, guttural moan against my lips and then his warmth joins mine, his hips jerking harshly as he empties himself.

When he stops moving, he simply remains where he is, not bothering to move away, almost seeming like he doesn't want to at all. His lips travel the length of my neck, pausing just below my ear where I can feel them curve into a smile. "Maybe I should sleep in your bed more often." A soft chuckle follows the words.

I can't help my own smile in response. "Maybe so."

**The End**  



End file.
